Blog Journal: When We Don’t Say What we Mean

"So did they tell you the reason". Gina asked her best friend, Karen, as they sat on the window sill at the community center like they had for the past five years after school. Karen wiped a stray tear that rippled down her cheek. "Well, they gave me a bunch of crock about not being ready. Then the lady told me I should lay off the donuts and dump the lumps." Tears once again began to blast out of Karen's blue eyes. Gina hugged her tighter. "It's okay, hun. It's really okay. They just don't know what they're missing." "I mean, c'mon on. You know we've both worked so hard this summer for this. The long jogs at 5AM, the protein shakes and bars. Those horrible tofu dishes. Then she tells me dump the lumps?" Karen jumps up and lashes out angrily towards nowhere. Gina grabs her back down. "Calm down girl! This is so not the end of the world. I think you put way too much on this.". "I know you don't want me to be upset", said Karen. "I know you don't, but it's so fresh in my mind, I'm going to be like this for a while." Gina stays silently, deciding just to let her friend vent. Karen continues. "To think, I walked in here feeling like this would be my big break, ya know? After everything that's happened this year in school, the ridicule, the hardships at home and me just feeling like I didn't belong; I thought this was it. Modeling is me. It's what I was meant to do. Now it's like she balled up my dreams and played kick ball with it. My life is not a game." Karen looks over at Gina and gets teary eyed again. "You've been a great friend this year. My best friend. I love you so, so much." Gina awkwardly smiles and continues to embrace Karen. "I guess I should look on the bright side though", Karen said. "At least we can spend the summer together like we planned. Oh, you know Bobby Brewster? He's so going to be working at the Chill Grill this summer. He said we can stop by anytime and keep him company." Karen giggled. "Aren't you excited?" Gina, finally deciding to not let it linger on any longer, turned over to Karen with a somber face. "Karen, I want to be. I really do. But I can't." Karen's excited expression slowly transitioned from happy, to confused and then an epiphany hit, right as Gina said "They accepted me.".