He's Such A Bad Date

Writing from the perspective of a female

I bet he thinks he's getting some tonight. I swear that was his intentions all along. If he thinks that, he has another thing coming. Look at him taking out his wallet, flashing those bills. I can pay for my own dinner bastard. I know your game. I bet he didn't know his breath stunk so badly when he picked me up. Plus, who brings flowers on the first date? That's just so corny. If he really thinks he's getting some of this good-good tonight just because he is a corporate, upper-class type, he's got another thing coming. I bet he doesn't realize he's had a booger in his nose for the entire time. Why has he not stopped talking about himself? He hasn't gave me one moment to speak about what I do or my interest. Do you think I care about your fiscal year. Shut up already. "She'll have the lobster." Oh my f'n gosh! Did he just order for me. Ugh! Here I am just politely smiling like it was okay. If I could just reach this fork, I know exactly where it's going. That will guarantee he gets none tonight, or for a long time for that matter.